“Wow, you’re so smart.”
“Look at that talent.”
“Such a wonder body.”
Sound familiar? If not, consider yourself lucky — and I mean that sincerely. Though well-intentioned, these remarks can become more of a curse than a blessing.
Why? Because what your parents or teachers didn’t realize is that these comments feed something that can become one of your biggest downfalls: your ego.
Ego — what you think you are, what defines your thoughts, actions, and ambitions. But here’s the catch: this is only what you think you are, not what you actually are.
Let me share an age-old, somewhat esoteric claim: There is no self.
This idea, rooted in Buddhist philosophy and many other traditions, means that the “self” is just a story we tell ourselves. The brain creates the illusion of a continuous “I” to function, but underneath, there’s nothing fixed or permanent.
How can I be sure? I’m not. This is my best guess, drawn from my personal experience from meditating and experiencing flow.
Ask a hundred people what the best feeling in the world is, and you’ll get many answers. But a common theme emerges around what psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called flow — a state defined by:
Complete focus, merging action and awareness
Balance between challenge and skill
Clear goals with immediate feedback
Loss of self-consciousness and an altered sense of time
Notice the key part: loss of self.
Why do we describe our best moments as “losing ourselves”? Because most of us don’t like the voice inside our heads — the one full of limiting beliefs, pessimism, and self-doubt. That voice holds us back, keeps us small, and steals our energy.
When that voice finally quiets, we are free. Free to focus, to create, to simply be. And in that pure state of “being,” if you look closely, you’ll find no narrator, no fixed self — just experience and action.
That’s who you really are.